What do you do if you think you’re gay?

“No One Can Say Their Lives Turned Out the Way They Planned”

I wrote about how you might figure out if you are gay, or bisexual, or skoliosexual, etc. This week, I’d like to focus on what comes next. What do you if you think you are something other than heterosexual? First things first: don’t panic! Although your life may not be turning out the way you’d always imagined, it is still your life, and you can make it as great as you’d like it to be. The secret here is that practically no one can say their lives turned out the way they planned. So, welcome to the human experience!

I use humor here, but I understand the potential weight of this realization. For some people, this can be very upsetting, especially if they were raised with certain ideas about what it means to be “gay”. Perhaps for some this realization comes with some sense of relief, like maybe they, as a person, make more sense now. If you are young, you might worry about what your future holds. The good news is, no matter how hard it seems right now, it does get better! Check out the website http://www.itgetsbetter.org/video/, (and bring some tissues!)

Finding Support Online and In Communities

If you are questioning your sexuality, there are support groups out there that can help you navigate your coming out process. In North County San Diego, there is the LGBTQ Resource Center in Oceanside. Their website lists the support groups they have for LGBTQ and questioning youth, adults, and family members (http://www.ncresourcecenter.org/). In central San Diego, there is the Center in Hillcrest.

They too have support groups for LGBTQ and questioning youth, adults, and family members (http://www.thecentersd.org/). I highly suggest participation in support groups when it comes to LGTBQ community- not only will you get support, you will make connections within the community and find resources that may be useful to you now or down the road. And if your parents, siblings, significant others, or friends would like support, they can find it as well.

“Delve Deeper Into Who You Are”

And of course, there is individual therapy with a competent therapist. This is a safe and secure way to express your thoughts and feelings with a non-judgmental and objective person. Not only can you delve deeper into who you are, and discuss what it all means, you can experience support and feedback as you discover what it is like coming out, being out, or staying in the closet, or deciding to be “stealth”. A therapist can also help keep you grounded with an eye for safety as you navigate dating, making connections in the community, safe sex, and managing current relationships.

Of course, just because you are gay, or bisexual, or skoliosexual, etc. does not automatically mean you need to be in therapy. My own perspective is that everyone can use a little therapy sometimes, especially when it comes to significant life transitions. Often times, an individual will experience depression, anxiety, or other symptomology as they are questioning their sexuality.

And society is not consistent across the board with how they treat sexual minorities. This just means that you might find it helpful to get some support. If you feel like counseling might be helpful, you can contact a therapist at Coherence Associates and get some guidance about individual, family, or group therapy. We are here to help you and/or your family as you navigate this process, as well as any other life transitions you may be experiencing.

Coherence Associates Inc.
info@coherenceassociates.com
(760) 942–8663